Car no fly. Q: What did the number 0 say to number 8? Q: What is worse then having one baby screaming? A snail walks into a car dealership. A: I’ve got you covered! He won the “no-bell” prize. One of my favorite things to do is laugh. > For I did not speak of my own Accord. What do piggies use when they have an infection?

Where are you headed? "Congratulations stranger!"

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?" The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to the drive, She hugged him and cried " if you really love me, introduce me to your friend John", He called the locksmith & the locksmith said “I’ll be there in 40 mins”. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta. 10. Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week. Check out the funniest jokes on the internet. A: She wanted to see a butterfly.

Q: Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

On my way home from work last year i saw my ex being beaten up by 3 guys, i stopped the car and ran over to help...she didnt stand a chance against 4 of us. A: The disk-o! Q: Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor? His beautiful daughter flashed him a smile but to everyone's shock the man merely shook his head.

Lawyer: Is there a problem, officer? The bartender replies, "I'm not serving you!

A pregnant woman falls into a coma and doesn’t wake up until after her babies are born. A: Because it gave him a big wave! A: I dot my i’s on you! Q: How do locomotives hear? Senior Officer: Is this your car, sir? We have a position opening tomorrow that pays $48,000 a year and has access to a free car!" Lawyer: Is there a problem sir? Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife? Q: What is the world’s longest punctuation mark?

I would drive my first car every day, but only drive the DeLorean from time to time. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied. Q: What’s a royal pardon? Me: Car no do that. A: Because he wanted to be on time. Take a look at these funny tombstones that really exist. He is in a coma for 24 hours. The bank manager says, "Well, you're in luck! Q: Why was the boy sitting on his watch? Who's there? We were at a a red light and i noticed a woman in the car behind me making a lot of arm and hand motions. A: I’m going out tonight! They’re both purple except for the rabbit. Q: Which runs faster, hot or cold water? A: He wanted to make a clean getaway! A: I better not tell you, it might spread. A: He was in shock for a week. A: Between you and me, something smells. Nobody knows. Detective : well, I would have turned for the one guy Q: What has three letters and and starts with gas? Tom: I bet I can make you say purple. Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger. Q: Why was the vacationing doctor so mad? A: To see how long he slept. Telekenieces. He replied, “Honey, there isn’t just one, there are hundreds of them!”. A: Super Pickle! Q: What did Cinderella say to the photographer? So he sensibly left his car parked and walked home. LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" He knocks on the drivers window, and the guy inside rolls it down. What do you call a student who doesn’t like math class? Losing all hope, the king hung his head but that was when they all heard a big splash. A: I’ve been framed! 27. Add it to the lore. She asks Do you want to have sex before she gets back? A: A garbage truck. "Sir, are you aware that driving with a rhino in your car is illegal?"

Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge. A: No thank you, I’m stuffed. "Let me check it out. “Where did you get that car?”. A race is about to start. (credit goes to the band The Silver Jews), Two guys in a car get pulled over. but man who runs in front of car will get tired. A: A bed. A: They stamp their feet. So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year". POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound. When they wake up they are in heaven standing in front of god and god asks why the men look upset, they all share their sadness for leaving earth so soon and would do anything to be able to have one last chance back on earth. Q: Why did the calendar write its will? A: They are triplets. Why did the Banker quit his job? St. Peter said "Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don't step on a duck." My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta. A: The players dribble a lot.

Q: Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

What do you call a fake noodle? "Screw you" she screamed back at me.

I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas. The lawyer steps out of the vehicle. I can't wait until my car suddenly stops in the middle of the highway and reboots to install updates. “Hey kids, it’s Jamaican hairstyle day at work tomorrow!”, 3 Little girls were walking along with their mother on the way home from the park, I hooked up Bitcoin monitoring and RGB light bulbs together, arnold schwarzenegger was asked to update his laptop to windows 10 but he said…, Gadzooks! Teacher: Billy, where on the map is The United States? The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. A: A comb. She decides to test it out while driving her new car home. So, he went through the cellar and ended up in a park. One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.” The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!” For more laughs, check out these travel cartoons that find the funny in everything. Two sausages were sizzling in a pan, one sausage turns to the other and says, “it’s hot in here!” The police are working tirelessly to catch him.

A: A nail. Your true stories of good and bad things that happen in cars. A: Because they dribble! A: To see time fly. We all have that freaking out Compiler, am i right C++. So he waddles behind his car and pushes it to the gas station. He thinks it's weird, and that he's imagining things. Q: How does a train sneeze? A: The leaning tower of Pizza. Q: Why did the belt go to jail? Q: Why can’t you say a joke while standing on ice? Q: Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game? Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back--wide eyed and white as ghosts. More shuffling and grunting. Check out these hilarious vet office signs that will make you LOL. Q: What would you call a humorous knee?

He just needed some space. Q: What is the difference between a fly and superman? The man looks bewildered. A: A newspaper!

POLE: "She going to poison me. Q: When do you go on red and stop on green? A: In Washington, D.C. ———-Q: What do you call two banana peels?

Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today. What did 0 say to 8? Me: "yeah you too..." WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?!

A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. As he pulled up to the curb outside the store, he saw a well-to-do man standing on the sidewalk. "I think that would be fine," agrees the nun. Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn’t take a bath? "I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home! Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game? A: He had no patients. Lawyer: Yes, here are the registration papers. A: Jammies! ;)", He goes for a hike and sees a moose. There's hundreds of them!". A: Slippers. A: When it turns into a garage. There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. "Of course I remember," she says. The first guy walks in and accidentally steps on a duck. The cop makes his way up to the window and says, We're looking for two child molesters.

A: I got you covered. How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Because he wanted to draw the curtains! Cargo who? St. Peter said, "I don't know. He gets to a neighborhood, knocks on the first door he comes to. Q: Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line? A: She was caught taking a brake. ———-Q: If the red house is on the left, the blue house is on the right, where is the White House? how do you know i'm not a serial killer though? Don’t miss our favorite corny jokes everyone will laugh at. POLE: "NO, I'm always up before her." Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth? A: When you are eating a watermelon. Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles. Q: What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? Thanks for the gold!

"that's right son, and Jesus walked everywhere"

Q: Why was the math book sad? Fred: Because my number is 4. They are received in heaven by St Francis who says, "As you can see, there're a lot of ducks on the floor. A: Doyouthinkysaraus Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? Q: Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill? No one wanted to lose their life.

The car started right up but they said I'd need a new battery. The waiter said “Are you a rope?” The rope said “Yes.” The waiter said “We don’t serve ropes.” So, the rope went out and burnt off his ends and tied himself into a knot. A: He was board. for speeding but the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The farmer says he'd be happy to fix the car, but it will take three days.

Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head. A: Rootbeer. Q: What do postal workers do when they’re mad?

A: It went back four seconds! Antibiotic oinkment. "That's so clever!"

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